Time To Divorce My Wife.

 

Is There A Way To Make African Parents Apologize To Their Kids?

 

I Apologize For Disappointing My Wife & Children

 

 

 

 

I created this new handle to hide my identity.

 

I got married 11 years ago. We both started working before we got married, but my salary was way above my wife’s own. I was earning 195k while she was on 108k when we got married, after my MSC, I was promoted and started to earn 350k, this got to me and I started to misbehave, I was doing all sorts and would insult the hell outa her. As the cry cry girl, she would cry, and thereafter I would hear her praying. At times she would say she will one day be greater than me. That to me was an impossibility.

 

 

 

 

I can’t even remember ever giving her money for home keep but we never lacked food at home (we delayed before having kids, so I don’t see the need for me to give her monthly money and she never asked). I started giving her after we had kids. She agreed when I told her her money was for the home and mine for investment, but I never included her name in my properties. she knows this as well.

 

 

 

 

After our kids, it became very demanding, coupled with her office not increasing her pay, she resigned, and that was when I felt the impact of her income. Meanwhile, her pay was reduced to about 80k and mine was increased to like 600k as at when she resigned. In one month I started asking her to return back to her work as to me I was not ready to foot her bills, she never even asked for money, she would even say what I gave her is left 5k or more self at the end of the month.

 

 

 

 

 

Now her new journey – When I started disturbing about going back to her former office or getting a new job, she said never and asked me to stop giving her money but go to market to buy food myself. In less than 4 months to her resignation she started talking about online job here and there, I thought it was a scam so I warned her. One day, I was in the office when she said she needs me to help her wit the best laptop to buy, I tried to talk her down on buying one but she ended the call on me.

 

 

 

 

I got home to see her with a new laptop. fast forward, she paid for a training on how work from home without my knowledge, got her first job of about $200, I also washed her down on going that low for such an amount but she said it was better than her former 80k job, before I knew it, she started talking about $1,000, now it’s $3,000, to $4,000 monthly. I earn lower than #1M, my wife gets over #2M monthly working from home. She helped me finished my house project, very transparent and would not hide any $ she earns.

 

 

 

 

I have not been able to forgive myself of all the things I did to her, the insults, talking down on her but in a way I think I pushed her to become who she is now. I remembered when she asked back then to open a joint account with her, I laughed her to scorn, like how would the ratio be. she saved over 6M and credited my account with everything, just for us to complete our home. I can’t even produce 1M.

 

 

 

 

She doesn’t seem hurt, but sometimes she reminds me of those words, I have never officially told her sorry neither have I really changed because I am just like that, I don’t mean evil. I wanted her to braze up and never stay low.

 

 

 

 

Married, men, please how do I ask for her forgiveness? I don’t think we have up to 2% of her type out there.

 

 

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World Internet Billionaires

Now, let us look into so many advices received from Nigerians so far so that you can learn more & fix your life if this happened to you:

 

Advices

 

By Ahmed

It’s a simple stuff.

1. Tell her you’re sorry for all you’ve done in the past and thank her for her contributions in making the marriage work.

2. Encourage her more and be her number one supporter.

3. Change for real and be a good husband that is expected of you and you’d be fine.

4. Include her name on assets that you jointly worked to acquire.

 

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By Mike

In all these, I still wonder why saying “My wife, I am sorry” is so much of a problem to you…

How to say sorry to wife is by first killing that your ego sir. #Peace

 

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By Jonny

….If after eleven years of marriage and you still don’t know how to apologise to your wife,Oga check yourself. You are not being honest.

 

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By Thorpido

If what you wrote here is true,you’ve got a good woman there.

Call her one night after you have given her a treat and tell her you are sorry for all your wrong behavior and words,that you were ignorant then.

 

Now stop being a jerk.Your wife is your helpmate.

 

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By Laluski

Look at your last paragraph…you mean you know this and you have the impunity to come here and ask us for advice…you must be very stupid..

I don’t blame you, I blame her for marrying a slowpoke like you..infact between she marrying you and you saying all this here..I don’t know whose more stupid..if to say na my sister come tell me this kind story WORD FOR WORD..my advice to her would have been a very dirty slap.

Lemme ask you if your father did all Thai to your mother and you knew all this….will you love your dad the more or call your own mother a fool…

Tell us your answer here sincerely before it enters your empty brain to get angry at the truth am saying and want to vent your childish anger back at me…

Kai…this boy just spoil my mood this evening Sha…

 

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By Oluromantic

Op. I’m not saying you’re a fool but you act like one. It’s clear your wife does not need much or big conviction that you’re sorry, yet you don’t say it. Are you running your marriage on competition?

 

Ask to discuss something serious with her, thank her for all she’s done for you and apologize for how ungrateful you’ve been. And change afterwards.

 

And be watchful what you say. Words are powerful. She said she’ll be greater than you and she is. Our tongues are weapons. They speak life n death.

 

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By Harunawest

Dont Apologize for the past for it has passed. Rather, appreciate her for what she has done and start footing the bills henceforth. Also buy her little gifts from time to time whenever you return from office and take her on weekend outings at least once a month. Cinemas, shoprite, parks, clubs, trade fairs et al. Do all these and have peace.

 

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By WoundedLamb

it’s obvious the only reason you’re considering saying sorry is because she now earns much more than you do, and you fear she might hold it against you or start treating you the way you used to treat her. Sir, you were evil to her. You probably put her through series of depression phases, and you would have been doing that up till this moment if she was still earning less than you. And you’re telling us you’re just like that. You’re just like how? Just naturally wicked? How would someone that treats his wife like this treat strangers? You can’t even bring yourself to say you’re sorry to your wife of over a decade. And please, don’t say you just wanted her to braze up (whatever that means). That’s what you tell yourself to get rid of the guilty conscience that’s obviously eating you up. You obviously know that’s not true and that’s why you feel this way. Acknowledge your wicked acts without excuses, that’s the first step to your peace of mind.

 

I pity the poor woman. People like you hardly appreciate others. So if you’re saying she’s such a nice person, then she must have really endured so much to the extent that you’re even surprised yourself. She might not tell you this, but she hasn’t forgotten how you made her feel. People forget what you say or do but not how you make them feel. The apology you’re yet to give started losing its value the moment she started earning more than you, and if you wait till she officially brings up the past before you eventually apologize, the apology will be almost valueless. You are a lucky man. This lady has shown you love that even your hardened heart cannot deny and it’s unlikely she’ll stop now. So just go and apologize whichever way you know how to, she is obviously at peace with her fate.

 

Two important things:

1) For the sake of your mental health, don’t give yourself excuses for treating her the way you did. Saying things like “I only wanted her to braze up”, “that’s just who I am”, etc. might make you feel better temporarily but the guilty conscience will always come back.

2) Your attitude after the apology is more important than the apology itself. Anybody can apologize but it takes a genuine heart to make changes.

 

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By MufasaLion

Apology of 1 minute is what you couldn’t do. I’m so sure you’re among those propagating the adulterated Red Pill on Nairaland forum.

 

Shameless man with low self-esteem.

 

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David Adenrele

I would have first insulted you, you know why?? you are such an ingrate you have a good wife but you failed to appreciate what you have, your actions were too extreme, when is your wedding anniversary? you must make it up for the lost time, invite all her friends and your friends, apologizes to her in front of them all, let her know she’s everything to you, buy her a special gift and make her happy henceforth, God bless your marriage, please don’t talk down on your wife, you might live to regret it at your old age, some women forgive but they don’t forget, always appreciate what you have good women are scares commodity getting a good like yours takes favour and grace from God be wise before you later regret.